This brings a wide range of emotions for me. On one hand, the selfish side of me is jealous – jealous that he gets to start living the dream I’ve been waiting to live for months. He gets to sleep in while I get up at the butt crack of dawn to go to work. He gets to work from home and have a flexible schedule.

On the other hand, I am nervous. Nervous about money, nervous about what this means for me and my plans to be a WAHM. We just bought a house, afterall, and we have a baby on the way very soon. What if he doesn’t get enough clients for us to make our mortgage? What if his income isn’t enough to support us both and I have to stay at my job after baby comes?

Aside from these emotions, I am also very excited for him. While the timing is nerve-wracking, at the same time it isn’t so bad. He gets to start out the new year by starting his own business. We do still have 5 months before Baby comes for him to get everything in order. He has been unhappy in his job for so long now, and has been angry and upset every day, which effects me as well. Last week when he was off work for the holidays is the happiest I have seen him in longer than I can remember. He is finally free to pursue clients and jobs that he is interested in. He will finally be able to get the respect that he deserves.

I’m still struggling with this. I know we’ll get through it, but it makes me so nervous. We didn’t expect for him to be unemployed when the baby comes. I hope to God that things fall into place so that I am still able to work from home and be home with my little girl.

Please keep us in your thoughts and prayers!

Me:
(In regards to the funky looking boots I put on for work)
“This looks bad, doesn’t it.”

Hubby:
“You look pregnant – no one is going to be looking at your shoes!

They’ll be looking at your belly.”

Hm, thanks, honey…

So, what’s new? We found out that we are having a girl! Hubby is still getting used to the idea of a daughter, but he is coming around. I am thrilled! I can’t wait to start shopping! I need to focus on Christmas first though – Christmas on a new home-owner’s budget. It will be fun though!

And, back to the topic of work, I caught wind of the news that they are most likely going to approve my maternity leave request – and I asked for the max! I was assuming that there would be negotiations, so I figured I might as well ask for it all. I didn’t really expect to get it! Whether or not I actually come back after the baby…I haven’t decided for sure yet…the important thing is that I get 4 weeks off before my due date. I cannot wait! Only 4 1/2 more months until maternity leave begins!

So yes, life has been good. I’ll try not to neglect you so much in the future. I’m sure life will slow down somewhat after the holidays!

I hope everyone had a great Thanksgiving, and here’s wishes for a very merry Christmas!!!

Last Friday morning, we FINALLY signed our escrow papers. (And I got the day off from work….yahoo!!!! I’m still excited about that.) They told us that by 1:00 we should own the home, but it was all dependent on how fast they got the paperwork done. So, we headed home and started loading up the truck. By the time we had our first load ready to go, we got the call that we were officially homeowners!!!! The move took us 2 full days, including cleaning up the old place. We had family visiting from out of state, so it was kind of a bummer for them to have to help us move, but at the same time, they were a lifesaver, since we didn’t have anyone else to help us move on a week day. Some of our strong guy friends did come over in the evening to help with the furniture, thankfully!

We really didn’t have a Halloween this year, since we were too busy moving, but there is always next year. The house is still full of boxes, but it’s coming together little by little. I’m liking it more and more!

Work has been crazy busy this week. I finally got another review, and finally got my raise. It’s not much, but hey, at least they gave me one. Hubby is furious about how puny my raise is compared to what I deserve, but oh well. I’ll only be here 6 more months, right? (Now he’s all stressed about money and tells me I may have to go back to work, but you better believe me, I will FIGHT him on it until I win. I refuse to come back here. I may have to work, but it will NOT be here!!!!) I just turned in my maternity leave proposal today. I asked for max allowed time – I figured why not? At least now I have bargaining room if they say I need to take less time. And again, I’m really hoping to not come back, so I suppose it doesn’t really matter. But can you believe it? 6 months???! Holy shit I have so much to do in that time! I have to buy maternity clothes, baby clothes, baby furniture, decorate baby’s room…not to mention finish unpacking all the boxes in my house and getting my house put together. And then I need to get my home business started so I’ll be settled once baby comes. 6 months sure doesn’t seem like much time when I have so much to do!

1. The House
We got it!!!!!!!! We removed our contingencies and did the final walk-through, and we are going to be first-time homebuyers!!! Yay! Unfortunately we won’t be able to move in this weekend like we had planned. Our lender is S L O W and slacked on the paperwork, and our escrow papers ended up not being ready in time for us to sign. So….we will be packing this weekend and hopefully moving sometime in the middle of next week. I really hope they get their asses in gear so we can sign closing papers on Monday and move in on Tuesday. So I’m a little stressed about where we are going to live on Monday, since we are supposed to be out of our rental house by then. The landlord is not returning our calls. So what the hell…I guess we’ll just squat for an extra day.

2. Insurance
So yeah, my old healthcare will cover me, but not the baby. And it seems damn near impossible to get immediate coverage for the baby…most insurance companies make you wait a few weeks. We make too much money for the state child healthcare program, so it looks like I’m SOL with that situation.

Which brings me to my last question…

3. The Job
So, seeing as how the photo job didn’t work out, and I kind of need my current health insurance plan to cover my newborn baby, I’m going to be staying at my job until May. 6 more months…could be worse. In the meantime, while I’m kissing ass around here, hubby and I will be working on our home businesses so that once baby comes, I can start working from home. And, I am looking at going back to school for a business degree while I’m at it.

So, things are working out. Not quite the way I had planned, but in the end, everything will end up the way I had hoped. We just had to take a few detours. But that’s what life is all about, isn’t it?

1. The house.
Today we are SUPPOSED to hear the results of the appraisal. Which would be nice, because we are supposed to start moving in less than a week, if everything goes okay. Yeah. I’d kinda like to know if I need to start packing or not.

2. Insurance.
I found out that my old healthcare will cover all my maternity care, and I can continue to see my current OB, which is awesome. I still haven’t heard from them though to find out what all the details are on payment, newborn coverage, etc. I have time, but it would just ease my mind to have things taken care of.

3. The job.
Things have not changed on this front yet. I did a photo retouch test, and I did a great job, which is good. I still don’t think that really puts me anywhere as far as getting a job, but at least it doesn’t rule me out of the running. I do still plan to make the wedding albums, but since all my money is tied up in escrow and closing costs right now, I can’t make any progress on my business until I have some spare $$ again.

So there you have it. I’m still just kinda hanging out, waiting for something to happen. In the meantime, I could really use a nap.

Things are still plugging along though. We still don’t know for sure if we’ll get the house, although we are supposed to close in two weeks. We still haven’t gotten the appraisal, and we still can’t get an answer on when it’s going to happen. I am totally nerve-wracked about it, seeing as the appraisal is the step we lost the last house on. I am hoping and praying it will appraise for enough! Supposedly we are supposed to find out today when the appraisal is scheduled. But at this point, I don’t rely on any “supposed to hear”s anymore!

Things are going great with the baby. So far I seem to be one of the lucky ones who really doesn’t have too many symptoms – no morning sickness, just mild nausea on occasion. I haven’t even been as tired as I was afraid I might be. My appetite is definitely back, but I have yet to start gaining weight. I’m sure it’ll all just show up one of these days though! I had my first ultrasound on Monday, and it was amazing. I knew that there was a baby in there, but it was like nothing else to see that there actually WAS a baby. That little heartbeat was the coolest thing ever. I can’t wait for my next ultrasound, when we can actually see a baby instead of a little bean! Hubby has taken to calling the baby “Clud.” What an AWFUL name. It will NOT be on the birth certificate, I guarantee it!

Today I will find out what my old healthcare can do for me, so I may be switching doctors this month. We’ll have to see how that goes.

As far as the job, I’m nervous again. The job that had been promised me was retracted, so now I’m not sure what will happen. He told me that he still might possibly give me some work, but it’s not guaranteed. Instead, he wants me to have my own bookbinding business so he can buy albums from me. Which is what I ultimately want to do, but again, he’s not guaranteeing that he will buy them. So, I’m back where I was two years ago, when I ALMOST had a guaranteed client for my wedding albums. So, I’m kind of freaking out. But at least now that baby is coming, Hubby is a little more supportive about helping me start my business, since we’ve already agreed there is no way I am coming back to this job. Any income from a home business is better than no income at all!

So, wish me luck. There are still 3 big question marks on the horizon right now, and I can’t wait for the answers!

September has been such an incredibly exciting month. First, I find out I’m pregnant. STILL so excited.

Then last week on hubby’s birthday, we found out we had our offer accepted on a house! We are in escrow again. (Funny how it’s not so exciting the third time around. I mean, the timing is perfect, and the house is great, but there is no emotional attachment. Which is good. But I really do think that it will work out this time.) The house is completely remodeled – we don’t have to do ANYTHING to it other than landscape the backyard, which doesn’t need to be a priority. Our inspection went really well – the best house we’ve tried to buy yet. Only minor things that need fixing, and they are all things that can be done whenever we get around to them. Now the next big step is the appraisal. I’m hoping and praying that it appraises for the value of our loan, but I’m not too worried about this one. I’m pretty sure the house is actually worth what we’re paying. No sketchy stuff going on this time!

The third major thing to happen this month is that I’m getting a new job. OMG. I am so excited. Hubby and I were discussing what the hell we were going to do after baby comes, since I absolutely flat-out refused *kicking and screaming on the floor* (okay, maybe not, but I may as well have) to come back to this hell hole. No way was I going to work 45+ hours a week for a puny salary just to throw it all away on daycare – especially when all I really wanted to do was spend time with my baby. So anyway. We agreed that I would not have to come back here, but he was totally stressing about how to deal without my extra income. I casually mentioned that maybe I could do photo retouch from home. Well, the next day, out of the blue, a photo retouch job fell in our laps. I will be starting in January, which means *ding ding ding* I get to quit my job BEFORE the baby comes!!!! I still haven’t told my boss about the baby yet, and definitely not that I’m leaving. I don’t want to tell them ANYTHING until we close escrow and everything is finalized with the house. Then I’ll let them know all the good news. I am really nervous to tell them, but I am OH so excited. I wish it was January already.

Aside from all that, life has been crazy. Work has been insanely busy, and at home, when I’m not napping, I’ve been researching insurance like crazy. It looks like we may get lucky after all and I can go back to my old healthcare provider once I leave my insurance plan at my current job. My first appointment and ultrasound are on Monday and I can hardly wait. The future is so exciting, I can’t wait for it to get here!

Anyway, I know this post is totally scattered and rambling, but I want to get it out while I have a minute before getting bombarded with work again. Sorry for my absence lately – I’ll try to pop in more often when I can!

I’m still in the process of starting my business. It is VERY slow-going. We are always so busy, I feel like I never have enough time to work on it. I long for the day I can go on maternity leave and hopefully NOT come back. I’m so ready to be further along in my pregnancy – ready to start showing, ready to tell my bosses, ready to start buying things for baby, ready to figure out where we are going to live – will we ever buy a house? or will we rent a cheaper place? – and then get the baby’s room ready.

I know all these things will come in time. I just feel like I’m right on the edge of something big and new and exciting and I just can’t take off yet!

SCORE!

I am totally going to lose this beer belly before the baby belly starts growing!

(I’m sure the fact that my appetite has decreased by about half has something to do with it too…but it’s all good!)